I don’t like writing in a way that it makes it sound like I’m writing in a journal usually. This blog is supposed to be constructed with well thought out observations and ideas. But in order to talk about this I may have to swing back and forth from carefully constructed meticulous thoughts to journal-like retelling of events. So I apologize in advance how this was written.

A few interesting things happened to me yesterday that I need to talk about that could potentially get me in trouble.

Yesterday, after work, I went to the Natick mall on my ride home like I usually do on Fridays to get some coffee and check out the beginning of weekend sales. And just like every time I go to the mall, I fall in love with every girl I see.

For those of you that don’t know, this year has been really bad for me. The combination of not having a girlfriend for 2-3 years and moving back in with my parents has put an incredible strain on important social aspects of my life. Meaning quite literally, I haven’t been out in almost a year. Without getting into the details of why moving and lack of girlfriend mattered in regards to having a bad year, lets just assume you sympathize with my plight and understand that it’s affected me very badly and it’s filtered into every other aspect of my life. Just so you understand how bad of a year this was.

Continuing; I was walking around the mall yesterday and I walked past the MAC cosmetic store. And that’s when I saw her. This extremely adorable cute blonde Asian girl. Her hair in pigtails tied with red ribbon, false eyes lashes (I think), heels, etc. A regular fashionista. I was so attracted to this girl that I couldn’t get her out of my head. But like I do with everything…I began to over think my attraction towards her. And it got me thinking about my ex-girlfriend.

I apologize in advance if this is too much information to leak online, but, if she reads this and wants me to take it down, please let me know.

I loved my ex so much. For the obvious reasons any man would love his woman. She was faithful, kind, fun, etc etc. But there were other reasons I loved her. It was the materialistic as well. You see, she is a beautician. So she was always doing something different with her hair, make-up and clothes. She wore extensions, false eyelashes, extreme heels, unique fashion, creative make-up, etc. I loved that about her. After breaking up, I begun to realize how important those things were to me. And just for the record, materialistic attraction, physical attraction and mental attraction are all equal to me. I do not value one over the other.

But seeing the cute blonde asian make-up girl made me realize just how important the materialistic is to me. Meaning, where normally I choose based on mental and physical attraction, I also choose based on materialistic attraction. I apologize if this sounds perverse to continue talking about a complete stranger online, but, after seeing her I realized I needed her or a girl like that now. At this junction in my life. Whether or not this is something I will “need” later, I know not. But right now it’s important.

This all gets interesting as the night plays out.

I met this girl online, (shut-up haters), and we’ve been talking and she’s been wanting me to come out to my old stomping grounds, Club Hell in Providence. Well she only goes out on Fridays, which sucks, because since I moved back in with my parents, I have to commute to work. So I drive to Boston everyday, (which is the main reason I’ve had a bad year), luckily I love my job, the institution and the people I work with, otherwise I wouldn’t put up with it. But since I drive to Boston everyday I do not want to drive all the way to Providence if I’ve driven to Boston that day. So for the past couple weeks I’ve been putting off meeting her which has killed me because I’ve been wanting to.

But something felt different that day. For some reason I had this urge to go, where normally I would’ve declined flat out. Well I sucked it up and got my dancing shoes on and got back to the good life. And I am very glad I did.

I arrive at the club, and I walk in, and the first person I see…my ex-girlfriend. Yes that right, her. Interestingly enough, I haven’t thought about or spoken to her in years. Except earlier that day I read something on Facebook that made me want to text her and see if she was doing okay. She texted me back, explaining she was fine. Fast forward…she’s at club Hell, where she and I never go anymore. Hmmm.

People break down into two groups when the experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I’m sure the people in Group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation isn’t fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they’re on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there’s a whole lot of people in the Group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they’re looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever’s going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences? – M. Night Shyamalan

After talking with her, I realized I completely forgot the reason I came to Hell to begin with. So, I searched out the girl from the internet. Success! There she was. A bright beautiful star. Now, to rope all this talk about bad years, ex-girlfriends, cute make-up girls, internet beauty’s, and materialistic attraction together. I should tell you, the internet girl is yet again another prime example of the materialistic attraction I have been talking about. She’s adorable! Nose stud, corset, thigh highs, short skirt, cute hair, hot dancer, fun personality, geek, and strong willed. I like her for more than just the materialistic, but I’m just explaining to you that she has exactly what it is I was thinking about earlier that day.

That entire day was completely interesting because of the sheer abundance of coincidence. Mayhap, I was actually looking for it, but…regardless, it’s there. And I remain very happy that my decision to go yesterday and following my gut instinct worked in my favor.

I’m not sure I have more deep probing thoughts on this night I’d like to share. I guess I just thought this story was very interesting and wanted to share it with others.

In conclusion, I just wanted to tell my ex that I love her and I hope it all works out for her, and that I’m really glad she was there last night. I wanted to thank the internet girl for hounding me to come out because otherwise it would’ve just been another night at home in front of my computer doing work. I also wanted to thank her for cracking the shell I put myself in this past year. I now have a little bit more strength to regain what has been lost. I wanted to thank the make-up girl for just being herself. Otherwise I wouldn’t have questioned my attraction, and admitted to myself how important the material is to me. And I wanted to thank Club Hell, for putting shitty Boston dance nights to shame.