Living on your own is less about your position as an independent individual and more about your learning on how to survive on your own.

I am very scared for myself. I normally associate the word ‘comfortable’ for a very natural positive feeling. Except here, I associate comfortability for a lack of success. I have never heard of anyone gaining the success and stature they feel as though their talents are worth by living at home.

Part of my success means I must be closer to the culture a city can provide. I patiently waited for eleven years to move closer to that area.

And for eight months, I had it. I lived everyday there as if I had never lived before.

Now, I must give it up, so I can make those eight months into eight years while I save for a house that’ll bring me to the culture that will help attain my success that I feel I have earned.

But my fear of becoming ‘comfortable’ in the suburban role will leave my life an empty unsuccessful husk of what it could’ve been. I fear resentment, I could have towards family, friends, significant others, and even my own children.

I feel terrified that I will gain success, but will lose social ties. As do I feel terrified I will embrace social ties and lose the opportunity for success.

I know not what to do.