What the pinup models of old war time were to soldiers back then erotica and porn is to me today.

I’m not fully equating myself to a soldier in the field. But in a way I am.

I work in the field. I put my life on the line, literally, everyday to serve this country. I know it’s more romantic to glamorize the life and death of a soldier because the chances of them dying is higher than anyone in my office building. But I fail to see the TRUE difference between myself and a soldier other than statistics. Especially if you believe in the saying: “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” Because in the end, I’m still serving this country, I’m giving the state a percentage of my income that pays other people so they may live within the American society. I won’t go into why I dislike America and all the things about it and why I put up with it. But I will say this…that what the pinup models of old war time were to soldiers back then erotica and porn is to me today.

The pinup was a reminder to troops of what awaited back home, and as us men go, served as the ultimate motivator to the male psyche– T&A. What can I say, we are simple creatures. Maybe you see it as an objectification of women, but the fact is it kept soldier’s morale up in dark, harrowing and uncertain times.

It doesn’t matter that you think there’s a difference between porn and erotica, the point of this is hope. Something to fight for. Something to come home to. Obviously, your mind immediately goes to the idea of the objectification of women. That’s fine. Then don’t equate for your struggle to survive with pinups, equate your struggles to survive to the picture you have hanging up of your family or your dog. After all, not every soldier had pinups in their tent. But some do/did. And so what if that’s what gives them hope. I suppose one would say that it’s false hope, that women like that don’t exist, well, you’d be wrong, because I know women like that, that do in fact exist. The falsity is in expecting that they’ll ALWAYS act how they do in the still frame of a pinup or in a porno video. It’s no less false or destructive than if a soldier looked at a portrait of his family of them smiling and laughing and expecting that, that’s all there ever was or will be. The expectation that his family will remain happy for all eternity like in the portrait. But fuck man, if that’s what it takes for him to have hope to have something to come home to? To have something worth fighting for? To come home alive? To come home happy? Then why the fuck not? It’s not the pinups (erotica, porn, family, portrait, etc.) that’s the problem, it’s the emotions we allow ourselves to have over the expectations we make in our head that’s the problem. The inability to not deal with things in a logical manner when things don’t go the way we wish them to go.

Listen, I’m single, have been my entire life. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. It’s never been because I expect women to act like a still pinup model or a porno actress all the time. It’s for other reasons that are unrelated to this post. But, being single for 27 years out of your life, barely ever getting to see friends, and working in an office 9-5 then coming home to having to do more work is very much like a war, especially since I didn’t enlist into this kind of life, I was drafted. And to be perfectly honest, one of the few things that gets through the day is erotica (pinups, porn, etc). It gives me hope that I’ll one day I’ll find the girl whom I’m both attracted to mentally and physically. It’s keeps up my morale. It motivates me to finish my work so I can find my girl. It keeps me happy from having to sit-down for 12-13 hours a day, being degraded at work and by others, being paid far considerably less for doing more, and generally being 27 years old and seeing others live lives I work very hard at making my own. Objectification or not…it makes me happy. It makes me want to be a better man. That should be enough.

Long live the pinup.

• Boston College
• Boston College–One Year later
• Boston College–Year two

One year later and Year two were rough years, and not because of work, but because of what was going on outside of work. Well, year three smoothed things out. Year three has been a great year. Both at work and outside. And even though I’ve posted things recently that would lead you to believe otherwise, just know that BC and my new living situation are the primary things in my life that are keeping me going strong.

Here are some of the projects that have been keeping me busy:
If you are using an RSS reader, please go to the actual post.

The homepage is still one of my main responsibilities. Haven’t got around to adding some javascript animation like I wanted to for the featured highlights and events yet, but, that’s only because we were switching over the BC CMS so I had to wait to see what was going to be possible within it:

The bulk of my work this past year has been making features and creating technology to showcase those features. Here are the one’s I’m particularly proud of from this past year:
We revamped the look and feel of Portfolio:

Last year there was an audio slideshow that I was working on that I am SUPER proud of. That came out AWESOME, called Here’s looking at me:

Another audio slideshow that I did that came out really good was one called Welcome wagon:

I found and started utilizing this new slideshow technology called Highslide:

We even started doing interactive features, which has been great for me because it means the video/audio people step aside and I can actually utilize my expertise:

Even though I didn’t shoot this piece, I thought I should mention that the storyboarding and concept was my idea that I proposed:

This in an interesting feature I did of a tour of the University’s main data center:

At the beginning of the year the Carrol school of management wanted some interesting new pieces of technology that we had to build and create content for. We created an accordion style Javascript feature to house audio slideshows that I created:

Not everything I do is technology/code/content driven. I actually get to digitally illustrate some artwork for various pieces we’ve done:

Not everything I do for the University I can actually highlight here using images.

There is a lot more that I do that I shouldn’t talk about as of yet. Only because a lot of thing are in testing, approval, and somewhat hush hush that I don’t think my higher ups would approve of me posting.

Stay tuned to Year four…all will be revealed.

And as always, I owe a GIANT thank you to my employers and the College for this amazing opportunity to let me be a part of something bigger than myself. <3

It’s silly, of course. In the list of important things in life, whether you been to a particular website, joined a social networking site or have seen a certain viral video ranks exactly nowhere. And yet, in a splintered society of splintered personal beliefs and splintered media consumption, sometimes the only thing that binds us together is knowing exactly what someone is talking about when he says, in a squeaky British accent, “Ow! Charlie bit my finger!”

Not a week goes by, not a week, where someone says to me “OMG, Have you seen (such and such) video?” And I don’t have the heart to tell them that they’re very late to the party.

Have I seen it?

Of course I’ve seen it. It’s been all over the internet for days now! What do think I’m living in Plato’s cave?

Which, admittedly is funny and ironic. Because, I’m on the computer at least 12-14 hours a day, give or take a few hours. Which would lead you to believe that I’d be one of these cave prisoners from Plato’s allegory because I never leave. I have to be! Not only is it my job to be on the computer, but, it’s my cultural responsibility to be able to talk to people about the things that are happening in this world when I DO leave.

And in case you don’t know what I’m talking about when I speak of Plato and his cave: Plato imagines a group of people who have lived chained in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall in his allegory of the cave. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to seeing reality.

To me, the prisoners in the cave, are the people who AREN’T connected as much as I. Who don’t see or hear about certain things until days, dare I say weeks? later. People who don’t know about these sites/video/meme’s/etc. don’t get to see reality. Again, It’s silly, of course. In the list of truly important things in life, whether you have been to a particular website, joined a social networking site or have seen a certain viral video ranks exactly nowhere. But what is reality? Obviously it has a couple somewhat varying definitions, but we might all be able to agree that reality is the state of the world as it really is rather than as what you might want it to be. Meaning, you may not think seeing Charlie bit me as something that’s important in life, and that’s fine, but I’m just saying, Charlie bit me…IS reality. Because the rest of the world recognizes it as so, even though they might be reluctant to admit it, Charlie bit me is important to them; to feel connected and culturally relevant. Because again, in this splintered society, sometimes the only thing that binds us together is knowing about these things. If you’re not online, subscribed to a social networking site, etc etc etc…I’m sorry to say but it’s very possible that you my dear readers, are the prisoners…not I.

However, these are extreme cases. It’s hard to find people not plugged-in nowadays. I suppose who I refer to in this post are these people who straight up refuse to join sites and be online for more “romantic” reasons. Romantic, of course, in this case being: a soulful or amorous idealist and/or not sensible about practical matters; idealistic and unrealistic.

People who say things like “I’d rather be outside,” “I have a life, thank you very much,” “The world is going to hell in a hand basket because people rely on technology to talk to one another nowadays,” “(insert comment made from naturalist/idealist/or otherwise that you’ve heard come from someone’s mouth).”

So for those people I give you a way out. A reason to feel okay, somewhat, with not being up to date.

On a final note:
I do want to point out though, that even though there is a reality we subscribe to in order to blend in even somewhat to the other humans around us, (obviously some subscribe to this more so than others), that doesn’t mean that what is reality to us individually isn’t reality. We should always question what is common knowledge, common understanding and known ‘truths.’ However, simultaneously, recognizing the world as it is so as to not continue to splinter this already splintered society.

What is this book about?

Big Numbers is an unfinished comic book series by writer Alan Moore and artist Bill Sienkiewicz. Two issues, of a planned twelve, were published in 1990 by Moore’s short-lived imprint Mad Love. Apparently, Moore described this series as “a potential magnum opus.”

In the two issues which were published, the story is about the effect of a new US-backed shopping center development on an English town. Moore tells the story from a number of perspectives, using a range of characters. Every scene is unique and gives a highly detailed insight into this British community. This is helped in no small part by Sienkiewicz’s exceptional artwork.

The idea behind the creation of this book is derived from chaos theory. Which is a scientific theory that rejects the notion of randomness. Based on the issues of Big Numbers that were published, it appears his intent was to use the theory to depict human alienation. The characters are both subtlety and no so subtlety depicted as being trapped inside their own heads, unable to find a relationship or emotional affinity with others despite their best efforts. Their lives are defined by patterns and routines; which is where you can see Moore’s and Sienkiewicz’s inspiration for fractal geometry and the mathematical ideas of Benoît Mandelbrot. When the routines of the characters cross, they bounce off each other, creating tension and inevitable heartache.

Why should you read this book?

Although I’m inclined to say, It’s Alan Moore…just read it! I know that not everyone’s an Alan Moore fan. But, I think he was spot on when he said in an interview that this book could’ve been his magnum opus. He hit it big with Watchmen, sure, but, I think this could’ve been his non-superhero magnum opus.

There are a few reasons why I want you to read this.

Alan Moore and Bill Sienkiewicz use fractal geometry, chaos theory and the mathematical ideas of Benoît Mandelbrot to show that patterns existing at the large scale (the effect of the town) would have existed at a micro scale (the effect on individual characters’ lives). Which, is something I talked about recently in this blog.

The story as near as I can tell based on the two issues that were published is about a woman named Christine who goes to her hometown to finish writing her new book. However, it’s mentioned quite a bit that she just recently had an abortion, so I think she’s coming home more to be with family and friends in light of that, rather than to write a book. But I suppose we’ll never know since the rest of the series is unpublished.

It’s hard recommending a book to people where there is no ending, which I suppose is also why many fans of Alan Moore don’t even know this book exists, because nobody felt as though it was worth talking about since no one had any idea where the story was going. But, the two issues that were published there’s so much information in both of them that set the book up perfectly. And there’s so much great dialogue that really makes you feel.

I guess I can just relate to this story from multiple perspectives. I can relate to the successful author who is now coming back to her hometown and seeing that nothing has changed and people’s lives are exactly the same and having that feeling of remorse and dismay about even wanting to come back home in the first place, but I can also relate to the people of the town who see the now famous author coming home and hanging out with the locals again and having that feeling like you’ve gone no where and seen nothing and your life is wasting away. I can also see the benefit of coming back to my hometown and I can see it’s faults; and you can see that the main character, Christine, deals with the same drama and in her own head.

Personally, I think this story would be boring if it was only about Christine. However, that’s not the case, the story revolved around multiple people’s lives and you get a sense on how the building of this shopping center would start to affect things for the better or for worse for the town’s people. His pairing up with Bill Sienkiewicz was a superb idea. The amount of planning this man must go into when laying out a page must have been grueling. I just want to know what kind of planning went into laying the page out on the left (click the thumbnail, RSS reader’s go to actual post).

I think, Big Numbers had a great chance of being a fine portrait of community in written media. I think, if finished, that Big Numbers would’ve been just as revered as From Hell, Watchmen and V for Vendetta.

So many people write stories like this, but, so few who write stories like this can explain the scientific theory behind the actions of a community.

I think what makes me have so much respect for this unfinished project from Moore and Sienkiewicz is that they take care to eloquently render the pain the characters feel at being unable to make connections. Emotions are all over the place, yet the behavior of the characters remains the same. I have to wonder if behavior remains the same because the emotions are all over the place; maybe it is just science balancing its;ef out. Maybe it’s the only way to create order and control on one’s life. To be emotional and dramatic, maybe, is natural…and possibly even healthy for humanity.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, John Hughes – director of such 80s classics as “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “Sixteen Candles,” and “The Breakfast Club” – has died.

I am connected to the “blogosphere” at least 3/4 of my day, and for the most part, a lot of people do not blog about anything new or post original content. They take a news clip from a favorite site of theirs and post it, thus sharing it with their friends, and their friends sharing it others etc. So when something happens like Michael Jackson’s death, or an alleged monster washing up on shore of some beach, or Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, or legendary director John Hughes dying; it immediately gets blogged about like crazy and everyone posts something about it but nobody offers anything new about the story. They’re just stating that he died and that he will be missed.

Cool? Interesting? Compelling? This post makes me want to go back to your site why? Create original thoughts! Create original content! Be funny, be memorable, be something other than a lemming. For instance, with my blog post called, Imitate or differentiate, I offered another outlook onto the video as opposed to just posting it and throwing it out there into the world yet again like so many others did. Granted, I am guilty of just posting content without offering anything new to it, I will not judge without judging myself. Like this post for instance…this post will be just another, “John Hughes R.I.P.,” blog post where I talk about how those movies defined my youth and how influential he was on a generation.

However, it will also be unique because I have a vessel that not only enables, but kind of requires me to blog about news and issues that deal with the theme of this blog; which is the drama, insight, and emotions that go along with being forced into a stereotype of what it means to grow-up and become an adult. So yeah John Hughes? The guy that directed movies that shaped what kind of person I decided I was going to be, news of him dying fits directly in line with what I usually talk about on this blog.

Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
- The Breakfast Club

Most thoughts that pass through my head on a regular basis at least take a moment to remember a particular scene from each of these movies. They were totally the essence of high-school yet totally unrelated to the realities of my particular high-school experience. He had a knack for presenting me the version of adolescence I really wanted; he even sold me on the bad parts of it.

Everything I thought high school, college and growing up was going to be, look like, feel like, sound like, etc. I thought was going to be like a John Hughes movie. And maybe because of that, maybe because I spent so much time hoping and trying to make it like one, I lost out on making it my own experience. Leaving me in the position I am today. However, I do not regret it. I feel that where I lacked in branching out then, I gain in branching out now.

There is this song by a band named Okkervil River called “Our Life Is Not a Movie or Maybe.”

I think it suggests that life doesn’t work out like movies do but it also suggests that maybe it does. Just because there is not a magnificent climax with a “costly parade for you only,” doesn’t mean that your life was not movie-esque. Think about it this way, an actor doesn’t usually see the finality of the film they were a part of until the screening and/or possibly the premiere. While shooting the movie the actors certainly don’t see what we see. They saw how it was made; and until they watch the screening only then can they step back and see their “life” that they were portraying as we do when we think back to our past.

The present is just us making a movie that we will watch in our heads in the future where we will quote, reflect, and reference like we do with movies.

Life does emulate movies, and movies do emulate life.

Our past when reflected on will not feel like it did when it was happening, it will be voyeuristic like it is when you watch a movie. You will look at yourself and not see necessarily the same person as you see today. Because you’ve grown, mentally and physically. Seeing who you were in the past will be like watching someone else portray your life like in a movie.

Movies are real life, but it’s expected of you to believe they’re not because we are told that fantasy is not reality, that the things that happen in movies are not real. But the people who are saying that do not understand that movies are metaphors. The things that happen in fiction are just metaphors to teach you something about yourself. To become self aware of the person you actually are, as opposed to be person who you think you are.

Anyway, I just wanted to write another John Hughes R.I.P. blog post and say that I hope that his family and friends are doing okay and are coping well and make it known to the world in the only way that I can right now that he has made my life easier to live as a result of him creating something he was passionate about. Hughes’ work has influenced every generation since and will continue to do so as long as people are willing to listen. I hope he and his family truly understand what they’ve done for this world.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
- Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

PS: You should check out this really cool post about a girl who was apparently pen pals with Hughes.